What the death of my Grandad has taught me.

What the death of my Grandad has taught me.

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It’s weird, I knew the day would come eventually where people would die especially my elders. Yet it still comes to shock us. I have never had any one close to me die, no friend or close family member. I’ve known of people but I wasn’t close enough to them to feel sad or I was too young if that makes sense.

Death is weird, it doesn’t feel real.

For me my Grandad had health issues since before I was even born. He had a heart pace maker for many many years, he was my local hospitals guinea pig. He lasted years more than he should’ve. It amazes me that without medication and equipment people lives would be much shorter and different.

To be honest, it hasn’t really hit me that my Grandad has died yet. He passed nearly two months ago as I’m writing this yet I’m emotionless.

I was closer to my Nanny and Grandad when I was younger, we would go round and get filled to the brim with vienesse swirls, angel slices, penguins – all the sugar you could have imagined. However a couple years ago my Nanny was diagnosed with dementia and had to move to a home suitable for her needs. Nanny and Grandad were separated, this caused Grandad to be in hospital for the last year or so of his life. It is sad.

Since Grandads death I have felt so much closer to my Nanny, not in a forced way but I don’t take things for granted anymore. I value those trips to see her and watering her plants.

I’ve learnt to not take anything for granted. I’ve probably taken a lot of things for granted  in my 18 years alive but it’s funny that something so big and significant is the thing to teach me that.

For some reason I kind of thought people didn’t actually die, the whole process is weird. It’s a strange thought knowing that they aren’t there anymore, does that make sense?

I don’t know what I really planned to say in this post apart from the fact that is ok to be sad about these things. This post isn’t structured, in-fact it’s all over the place so apologies.

Anyway, that’s it.


Rachel xo

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